So people should know I'm a perfectionist - but not in the good way most of the time, because it made me a procrastinator. And I'm scrolling through facebook cause I've semi-given up on handing in my assignment on time cause it's going to be lousy given the little time I have anyway.
So I found one of these thought catalog articles (in its annoying 15thingsyoushouldknow-ness) that made me go "that's so totally me" but won't help me in any productive way -- more procrastination. I bet the author wrote it as a way to cope with her approaching deadline.
But well, '15 struggles of being both a perfectionist and a procrastinator' is so, so, so true and....
.. i better get off the internet because this doesn't help me in any way. AT ALL.
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1. This is the life cycle of you trying to do basically anything.
2. … which is to say, you immobilize yourself because things aren’t turning out perfectly, so you have no interest in working on them anymore.
3. You become way too familiar with next-day deadlines and general panic about how you’re going to get something done in such a short period of time…
4. Mostly because you’re going to spend at least 1/3 of the time you have left complaining about what you have to do so you can avoid it that much longer.
5. You induce panic attacks because you know you need to get to work but you are overwhelmed with just not wanting to — mostly because oh-my-god-it’s-not-perfect-and-probably-never-will-be.
6. Somewhere along the line, you realize that your desire for perfection is rooted in something probably existential and #deep, and if you’re unexperienced in the art of Being Unstable, you’ll probably let yourself fall down a k-hole of contemplating why you’re a horrible person, which is often part of the procrastination/perfectionism breakdown.
7. When you do actually get something done, you’ll realize it took you twice as long as it would anybody else, and that makes you wonder if it’s because you wanted it to be perfect, or you’re just lazy and were putting it off.
9. You have lofty goals and yet no real desire to do the work it takes to achieve them.8. You frequently decide you’re going to put something off until you do something else — but then you freak out because that thing isn’t perfect, so you actually wind up deeper down your anxiety trap than before.
10. Somewhere in your parents’ house lies a yellowed and crinkly report card saying that you have “so much potential, but no inclination to actually do the work.”
11. In fact, you were about that easy A life, and didn’t necessarily dislike school, but only liked it when you were in class studying a subject you were freakishly talented at — or rather, that you could pretend you were.
12. You often find yourself turning down dates from people who are plenty cute or plenty smart or plenty engaging, but you find that one flaw, and can never look past it ever again.
13. Somewhere on the Internet, there is a secret, never-ending Pinterest wall filled with all of the DIY projects and hairstyles you swear you’re going to actually do, but I mean, all that DIY requires a lot of work, so…
14. You are horribly up front about telling people all of your greatest flaws, so that they never expect more from you than your absolute lowest — no matter how many times you’ve proven otherwise.
15. You have turned down your dream job out of some irrational fear that you’re going to get fired, are a horrible fraud, and/or are really just horribly qualified and it was some fluke of luck that got you through the system anyhow.
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more time wasted.
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